7:03 AM

Psalm 73:26 

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. 

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A blog update? I don't know :P

I am covered with sadness, loneliness, fear and despair these past few months for unknown reasons. Am I over thinking again? Paranoid? or the feelings i'm filled in was true.

Finding my happy zone this week is an achievement! 

HOW? well, there's a lot of reason..

> Prayers- It's been a while since the last time I've went to church. Frankly, when I was a child, listening to the priest for an hour or couple was the most boring thing ever! And I hate going there for the reason of waking up so early in the morning. I have no choice because my whole family's always present on church every Sunday. But i'm not an anti or whatsoever. I just don't like waking up early, not a morning person (Same reason why I don't like going to school).. I don't like listening, I like talking.. Well, I can't be a good speaker if I myself is not a good listener too, right? But, I don't understand a word coming from a priests mouth? too deep.. My small brain can't understand it. 

But I am taught well by my parents to pray. To thank God for all the things that happens to me, bad or good. To Praise and have fear on him. Praying before doing anything. I pray before exams, before I go out. Every time. It became a habit, talking to him. It feels good too.
So last Sunday, I went to our local church. Depressed and sad about school, people in my school, studies, and at home. Every seat on the church have this news-paper-like illustrating the flow of the mass. The front page says "GUSTO KO HAPPY KA" Smile traces my lip. I attentively listen to the priest Knowing he's there, God is there, never leaving me even I forget him sometimes. It's actually one of the mass that I enjoy the most, one of the mass that I'll never forget. Every word sinks to me, calming my heart. The rest of the week goes really well.. I'm inlove with his glory <3

> Books/novels- these precious, precious things.. Novels are my cloud nine. taking me away from the reality. WHY DID I STOP READING FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS?! well, the book that welcomes me back on the world of novel was pretty intense and not-suitable-for-my-age-type of book *bad-ass me. The trilogy of Fifty Shades by E L James. Good thing that i'm open minded. The "s" part did not amused or entertain me at all. I'm looking more forward on the story. Rating it from 1-10, ill give it 7. Not a must-read novel. But hey! I finished it! It just became a mainstream that got me curious. It's every where! 9gag, Facbook, etc. (I'm a curious cat:P )

 Going back to reading, it became a hobby of me since my parents separated (They are okay now, living together again). I just want something to accompany me, something that will take me out of my sorrows. and YES! reading became my best friend! and the one who influenced me became my best friend too! (I'll never stop thanking him!)

Lonely? Sad? Feels like there's no one there for you? I SUGGEST READING A GREAT NOVEL!!! 

> Cats/Neko/Gato - I won't die alone! I have my furrballs!!!! My cute and cuddly cats! My pussy/pussies?! (that's not a great term) Those cats that only loves me when they're hungry and curses me every time I gave them a Sunday bath. HOW CUTE IS THAT?! and who says that cats don't adore their owners? They'll always surprise you with dead animals/cockroaches on your doorstep. Adorable, right?

>Music

> Ed Sheeran - Him <3 that guy :3 i'll never ever ever ever ever hate his music! I'm stuck to his songs for Cat sake! I don't know. His voice hugs me on lonely nights, wraps me with his words. A great lullaby, but never takes me to sleep. can't help not to sing to his beautiful music <3 

> SKRILLEX!!!!- yes! i'm a fan of him! not dubstep, but his music geniusity(not even a word:P )! I don't know. An anti stress type of music to my ears. I know he have a great number of haters but I don't care. I like him! his music! it's great! *wub wub wub dub*

> Maroon 5- I grew up with their song and who the eff won't like their music right?

>Fall out boy- another band I grew up listening too! All albums on my phone. A great lullaby too! Anti-stress songs. that's the end of story. (oh! because of FOB i became a great fan of panic!at the disco too :3) 

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